Tonight I had one of those conversations with a parents that just reaffirms why I do what I do.
I became a teacher to help students know that they are cared for and valued. In a world where ever-increasing amounts of young men and women are dealing with low self-esteem, negative interactions with friends and loved ones, self harm and/or suicidal tendencies, I wanted to try and be a personification of that city on a hill. A lighthouse that simply reaffirms that young people matter.
A small part of me wonders if that's arrogant. The bigger part of me is confidently hopeful that I can be that lighthouse. That I am that lighthouse.
The problem is my new role. It now encompasses discipline for students in Years 10-12. This can include punctuality to school or class, personal appearance, behaviour issues inside and outside the classroom, or bigger issue concerns. Basically, I'm the bad guy to many students.
I hate being the bad guy.
One of my weaknesses is that I want to be liked. I struggle with criticism, hate confrontation, and overthink any interaction that results in an argument or disagreement. I hate that so many conversations I have with students are about negative things. So what I've started to do is to change the way that I am interacting with students over 'discipline' issues. When speaking to Year 12's about the fact that they're arriving late to school on a regular basis, I'm not going down the discipline path immediately.
I'll ask about their transport options. I'll see what time they leave home, if there are earlier trains or buses, or if they can leave 5-10 minutes earlier to avoid traffic. We'll search on Google Maps, TripView, and plan out routes that solve the problem of their attendance.
One student had been late to school by around 5-10 minutes around 3-4 times every week. I spoke to him last Friday and asked him 1:1 if he could try and improve and simply leave earlier. I wasn't going to involve his parents at this point, I just wanted him to try and set the example that he, as a Year 12 student, should be setting for the Year 10-11 students. He wasn't in trouble, yet, but I wanted him to take responsibility for the issue himself.
Since that conversation, he has not been late a single day. All 5 days this week he was on time. Being able to pull him out of a study period to congratulate him was wonderful, as I was able to show the 'before' and 'after' of his attendance record and thank him for his maturity.
Tonight, his mother spoke to me. She passed on that he had spoken to her about his late arrivals, and commented that he was going to change because I had been so supportive and encouraging of him, rather than giving him a punishment. She thanked me for taking an approach that spoke positivity and encouragement into his world, and told me of some family circumstances that was making his situation particularly challenging.
It had been a rough week, and still is. My heart is still raw from yesterday's news.
And yet, one piece of positive feedback has rekindled hope. Hope that what I do, and the way that I do it, matters.
And for tonight, that's enough.
I became a teacher to help students know that they are cared for and valued. In a world where ever-increasing amounts of young men and women are dealing with low self-esteem, negative interactions with friends and loved ones, self harm and/or suicidal tendencies, I wanted to try and be a personification of that city on a hill. A lighthouse that simply reaffirms that young people matter.
A small part of me wonders if that's arrogant. The bigger part of me is confidently hopeful that I can be that lighthouse. That I am that lighthouse.
The problem is my new role. It now encompasses discipline for students in Years 10-12. This can include punctuality to school or class, personal appearance, behaviour issues inside and outside the classroom, or bigger issue concerns. Basically, I'm the bad guy to many students.
I hate being the bad guy.
One of my weaknesses is that I want to be liked. I struggle with criticism, hate confrontation, and overthink any interaction that results in an argument or disagreement. I hate that so many conversations I have with students are about negative things. So what I've started to do is to change the way that I am interacting with students over 'discipline' issues. When speaking to Year 12's about the fact that they're arriving late to school on a regular basis, I'm not going down the discipline path immediately.
I'll ask about their transport options. I'll see what time they leave home, if there are earlier trains or buses, or if they can leave 5-10 minutes earlier to avoid traffic. We'll search on Google Maps, TripView, and plan out routes that solve the problem of their attendance.
One student had been late to school by around 5-10 minutes around 3-4 times every week. I spoke to him last Friday and asked him 1:1 if he could try and improve and simply leave earlier. I wasn't going to involve his parents at this point, I just wanted him to try and set the example that he, as a Year 12 student, should be setting for the Year 10-11 students. He wasn't in trouble, yet, but I wanted him to take responsibility for the issue himself.
Since that conversation, he has not been late a single day. All 5 days this week he was on time. Being able to pull him out of a study period to congratulate him was wonderful, as I was able to show the 'before' and 'after' of his attendance record and thank him for his maturity.
Tonight, his mother spoke to me. She passed on that he had spoken to her about his late arrivals, and commented that he was going to change because I had been so supportive and encouraging of him, rather than giving him a punishment. She thanked me for taking an approach that spoke positivity and encouragement into his world, and told me of some family circumstances that was making his situation particularly challenging.
It had been a rough week, and still is. My heart is still raw from yesterday's news.
And yet, one piece of positive feedback has rekindled hope. Hope that what I do, and the way that I do it, matters.
And for tonight, that's enough.