Today I found out that a student from my school has taken his own life. He is an old boy, whose brother I still teach.
I needed to see another teacher to have a quick meeting, and he immediately asked how I was as I "seemed down". The only words I could say at that point to describe the situation is that it's just so tough, but I was frustrated by my lack of ability to communicate my feelings at the moment.
The situation is far more, and far worse, than tough. It's heart-wrenching, tragic, emotive, and casts a deep melancholy over so many of the hushed conversations and interactions that arise in the hours and days after such news breaks. No-one really knows what to say. You want to avoid speculating, but at the same time the close proximity of the family means that people care, and want to understand how such an action could have occurred.
My Ancient History class that afternoon was essentially a write-off. The boys hadn't done their homework, so I made them complete that, and more, while I gave some specific feedback to a couple of students. I tried to explain some higher-order concepts about analysis and evaluation, but I couldn't seem to find the right words to communicate properly. It's okay. One dud lesson won't ruin their education.
I've been wondering about how people fall through the gaps. How did this boys life reach the point that he decided this was the last resort available to him? By all accounts he had his struggles, but no-one should ever be driven to this decision. How many people in my world are in a similar situation? How many of the students that I teach are wrestling, often or on occasion, with similar dark thoughts? I truly hope that God gives me eyes to see those who are in such darkness. I know I don't have all the answers. In-fact, I doubt I'll have many.
But education is not about the grades, it's about the human element. It's about making connections, instilling values and hope, and trying to guide the development of young men and women to make a positive difference in the world. I truly hope I do that for my students.
I needed to see another teacher to have a quick meeting, and he immediately asked how I was as I "seemed down". The only words I could say at that point to describe the situation is that it's just so tough, but I was frustrated by my lack of ability to communicate my feelings at the moment.
The situation is far more, and far worse, than tough. It's heart-wrenching, tragic, emotive, and casts a deep melancholy over so many of the hushed conversations and interactions that arise in the hours and days after such news breaks. No-one really knows what to say. You want to avoid speculating, but at the same time the close proximity of the family means that people care, and want to understand how such an action could have occurred.
My Ancient History class that afternoon was essentially a write-off. The boys hadn't done their homework, so I made them complete that, and more, while I gave some specific feedback to a couple of students. I tried to explain some higher-order concepts about analysis and evaluation, but I couldn't seem to find the right words to communicate properly. It's okay. One dud lesson won't ruin their education.
I've been wondering about how people fall through the gaps. How did this boys life reach the point that he decided this was the last resort available to him? By all accounts he had his struggles, but no-one should ever be driven to this decision. How many people in my world are in a similar situation? How many of the students that I teach are wrestling, often or on occasion, with similar dark thoughts? I truly hope that God gives me eyes to see those who are in such darkness. I know I don't have all the answers. In-fact, I doubt I'll have many.
But education is not about the grades, it's about the human element. It's about making connections, instilling values and hope, and trying to guide the development of young men and women to make a positive difference in the world. I truly hope I do that for my students.