The older I get, the more I realise that people remain flawed and insecure beings, regardless of our age.
There's some context to this thought process, as always.
This year I've taken on a role that has far more direct communication with parents. Often, that communication is not positive. It may well be in relation to discipline concerns, attendance issues, or lack of academic engagement. You know, the fun stuff that parents love to talk about.
While I always try to frame these conversations about wanting the best for their sons, which I truly believe, they're never enjoyable experiences.
In the last couple of weeks I've had two widely divergent parental interactions.
The first was in a meeting to try and support a student who is currently struggling with some personal issues and challenges at home. These are seriously impacting his attendance and achievement at school. The parents were kind and supportive. They gave context for his challenges, and committed themselves to supporting the strategies the school was attempting to put into place. They were very human, sharing the struggles they were having as parents to love and support a son who seemed to be doing all he could to push them away.
The second was in relation to a routine email about a student not attending an external course. I simply passed on a message from the external teacher, only to receive a brusque and accusing email laying the blame at my feet. My firm (and less polite than normal) response explaining that I'd clearly communicated the requirements to her son the previous week elicited a, "Oh, I didn't know". No apology, no thanks provided.
These interactions have highlighted a few things for me.
1. Constructive relationships with parents are a two-way street.
Just because I'm polite and express myself clearly, doesn't mean that the parents choose to respond that way.
2. Parental communications are often loaded with baggage.
Perhaps family life is troubled. Perhaps they're insecure that people are judging their son, or their parenting. Perhaps they've had their salary reduced, and the last thing they want is to have to deal with their children (that's our job, right?).
3. I need to remain true to my core values.
I need to have the best interests of the students at heart, and try to communicate from a place of respect and empathy. That way, even if the conversation turns sour, I know I've stayed true to my values.
4. I'm often more mature than the parents.
In no way is this self-aggrandizement, I just keep getting surprised when I'm the one having to set the tone of professionalism and common courtesy, despite the fact I'm new to the role and much younger than many parents.
There's some context to this thought process, as always.
This year I've taken on a role that has far more direct communication with parents. Often, that communication is not positive. It may well be in relation to discipline concerns, attendance issues, or lack of academic engagement. You know, the fun stuff that parents love to talk about.
While I always try to frame these conversations about wanting the best for their sons, which I truly believe, they're never enjoyable experiences.
In the last couple of weeks I've had two widely divergent parental interactions.
The first was in a meeting to try and support a student who is currently struggling with some personal issues and challenges at home. These are seriously impacting his attendance and achievement at school. The parents were kind and supportive. They gave context for his challenges, and committed themselves to supporting the strategies the school was attempting to put into place. They were very human, sharing the struggles they were having as parents to love and support a son who seemed to be doing all he could to push them away.
The second was in relation to a routine email about a student not attending an external course. I simply passed on a message from the external teacher, only to receive a brusque and accusing email laying the blame at my feet. My firm (and less polite than normal) response explaining that I'd clearly communicated the requirements to her son the previous week elicited a, "Oh, I didn't know". No apology, no thanks provided.
These interactions have highlighted a few things for me.
1. Constructive relationships with parents are a two-way street.
Just because I'm polite and express myself clearly, doesn't mean that the parents choose to respond that way.
2. Parental communications are often loaded with baggage.
Perhaps family life is troubled. Perhaps they're insecure that people are judging their son, or their parenting. Perhaps they've had their salary reduced, and the last thing they want is to have to deal with their children (that's our job, right?).
3. I need to remain true to my core values.
I need to have the best interests of the students at heart, and try to communicate from a place of respect and empathy. That way, even if the conversation turns sour, I know I've stayed true to my values.
4. I'm often more mature than the parents.
In no way is this self-aggrandizement, I just keep getting surprised when I'm the one having to set the tone of professionalism and common courtesy, despite the fact I'm new to the role and much younger than many parents.